Jordan Harbinger is the co-founder of the Art of Charm. Jordan has always had an affinity for Social Influence, Interpersonal Dynamics and Social Engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive. Jordan has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war-zones and been kidnapped -twice. He’ll tell you; the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of), just about any type of situation.
Jordan’s favorite quote and why:
“Fortune favors the bold.” I like it because it can be translated as “Fortune favors the bold, fortune favors the brave,” but really, it’s kind of the original version of “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” And I really like that, because it doesn’t totally discount luck — which is a real phenomenon as we put ourselves out there more and more. [showhide type=”quote” more_text=”Read more…” less_text=”Hide”]But it does say like, hey, those who really want what they really want, and are willing to do anything for it will put themselves out there, will take the risk, will develop the skills that they need to get there. And a lot of people don’t do that now. I hear just so many excuses from people, especially when it comes to getting their dating life handled or getting their people skills handled, they go, “Oh well, I don’t really need that in my industry.” Or, “I can avoid that.” “I hire someone for that.”
And it’s all because they are afraid. And we just limit ourselves so much from people in our lives because we’re afraid; we’re afraid of failures, we’re afraid of judgment, we’re afraid that we’re not going to live up to our own standards, our parents standards or whatever. So I love that quote because it’s very true. It’s like, “All right, you want something? Go out and get it.” And it’s very easy to say and very, very hard to do.[/showhide]
About The Art of Charm:
It definitely started off as a ‘meet and get the girl’ but that was because that was what I was interested in 8 years ago when I started this. And honestly, people skills are developed by young guys early on if they are trying to get that. It’s hard to tell somebody on their 20s, “Hey, you are going to need these skills to grow your business.” Because they are like, “Whatever. I don’t care. This is for old people.”[showhide type=”art” more_text=”Read more…” less_text=”Hide”] Usually, people decide to work on their people skills when it’s too late –they are divorced already or they realized, “Wow, I’m getting my butt handed to me by my competitors because they have better bedside manner or they got better customer service and people like them more. This is not good.”
So we work a lot with, we call it, “Hiding the broccoli.” Back in the day, we did a lot of that where in order to get a little kid to eat broccoli (which is personal growth, something that’s good for them), you have to cover it in cheese. And so, the dating stuff was the cheese. And not that you can’t learn anything about dating from coming to the Art of Charm; it is part of the program. What we’re really looking at is developing charisma and interpersonal skills that are unmatched. And that works great if you are a single guy looking to meet a lot of people, and it works great if you’ve been married for 22 years, and you are looking to use these stuff in your family life or your business.
So, it overlaps; it’s really the same skillset largely when it’s applied to different areas. It’s only not the same. You’re doing it in a sleazy way and so it became a lot easier to apply these skills to different areas of your life when you realize, “Wow, these are actually really the same.” “Be vulnerable and open.” “Help people get what they want, and they’ll help you get what you want.” There’s a lot of Dale Cargenie-esque stuff in here, but the difference is we teach you how to do it in a very practical way, instead of just saying, “Hey, put yourself out there. Be nice to people,” which isn’t really a way to get things done. We actually turn it into a system of practical, actionable steps that you can apply, not just to philosophy that you should listen to and get inspired and forget about it.[/showhide]
Jordan’s difficult time story:
We get a lot of email from guys that use this to get into college or doctors that use this in their bedside manner to get their patients going. In fact, yesterday, I was talking with an alum, who’s a doctor in Michigan. He took the program a long time ago, and he became the chief resident after his program. It’s been a few years since, and he’s working at the some hospital, and he’s got the respect of all these high level doctors, and I guess this is how it works in hospitals, but he’s like “I’m one of the only junior level guys that these guys know my name.”[showhide type=”story” more_text=”Read more…” less_text=”Hide”]And that’s a big deal because they often choose you to work in their the OR, they often choose you to work on projects and things like that they are working with. And so, he’s able to get a lot of advantages – substantial advantages – working with these older doctors, than the other guys at his same level who are his same age with his level of seniority, because of the way that he interacts with them every single day, and the way that he interacts with the office staff, they speak highly of him.
Because a lot of the doctors will sort of ignore administrative stuff because they’ve got other things going on. And what this guy was doing was doing what we taught him at The Art of Charm, interacting with everybody, leaving everybody better than he found them. and he had found that some of these administrators were in very good contact with some of the higher level physicians. They kind of said, “Hey, this new guy is really nice. Good hire. He’s a really good kid.” And the doctors were like, “Who is that? I don’t even know who this is.” And then he slowly got into people’s radar. And that’s very, very important. So he’s getting promoted faster at the end of the day, when it comes down to it.
I had another client who came to the program several years ago now. I saw him again, he lost 100 lbs and he quit his job working for a large mobile firm. He started a consulting company and doubled his income while working from cafes and traveling around the world. And now recently, he got a higher level job at Facebook. This is a guy who dropped out of high school, by the way.[/showhide]
What Jordan sees as issues with doctors/dentists when it comes to charming or connecting with people:
I found with doctors, connecting with the patient is really tough, because on the one hand, you have to push them away, especially if you’re like an ER doctor, you’ve got to almost push them away and be clinical about it, because otherwise, you’re going to ball your eyes out because it’s a little kid coming in with a gunshot wound or something like that. It’s just terrible and traumatic. But on the other hand, in order to do your job well, you have to be compassionate. It’s almost a process of uncompartmentalizing, just becoming able to relate to people, and able to connect with people in a way, even though it might hurt a little bit more. It requires a lot more strength. But we work a lot with doctors on that, because they can do their job so much better when they are able to connect at a very real level, even if it is tougher at the beginning. You build strength and character through it, not by ignoring the fact that your patients are actually human, and are in pain.
The best advice Jordan has ever received:
It’s one of the AOC mantras: “Leave everything and everyone better than you found them.”
The one habit that contributes to Jordan’s success:
I think remembering that every single interaction you have with somebody sort of builds on your social capital. And habit wise, introducing people to one another is actually probably one of the best ways to build cache in social currency.
What is exciting Jordan right now:
Learning Chinese.
Internet / App resource that Jordan feels is awesome:
Refresh – an iOS app that uses data from social networks and other online sources to provide users with a quick, 30-second briefing on anyone you’re meeting. The app provides users with information about the other person like jobs, achievements, interests, friends, and trips, giving the user useful conversation points.
Jordan’s book recommendation:
“The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism” by Olivia Fox Cabane
- Hardcover edition can be purchased on Amazon here.
- Paperback edition can be purchased on Amazon here.
- Kindle edition can be purchased on Amazon here.
Jordan’s advice for those who are about to start new or restart:
If you are just starting out and you don’t know anything about charm and charisma, one of the greatest places to start is… I mean, we just have so many resources about modifying your non-verbal communication, coming across more positive, engaging with people positively. It’s really one of the best skill sets that you can have, because people are much more likely to forgive you, not just your patients, but people you work with.[showhide type=”advice” more_text=”Read more…” less_text=”Hide”]When people like you, you can get away with murder. So since you are going to be screwing up a lot in your job, you should probably get better at getting people to like you, because again, your people skills are going to trump your technical skills even at the highest levels of any occupation, so you might as well start building them now. Because you are going to learn a lot of technical skill in the job; you are not going to learn a lot of people skills in the job, unless you’re very present, very attuned to it. So you need to start that process soon, rather than later.[/showhide]
Jordan can be reached at:
- Website: www.theartofcharm.com
- Email: Jordan@theartofcharm.com
- Phone: 1.888.413.7177
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